But by God, forge on we must, as this is the digital age, the age of social networking, and those who don’t play get left behind. LOL. We need some templates, to have at the ready, to respond to some of the more common Facebook situtations.
1) Being “friended” by someone from long, long ago – otherwise known as “I’m Not Exactly Sure Who You Are, But For Some Reason Your Name Makes Me Cringe”:
Dear Old Acquaintance from Elementary/Middle/High School (and/or Camp),
Thank you so much for reaching out and connecting with me on Facebook! Unfortunately, I currently have plenty of people in my life and do not wish to rekindle our dusty friendship from 10/20/30/40 years ago. In fact, I can’t quite remember who you are, but the sound of your name leaves a slightly bad taste in my mouth, and the blurry photo of your unattractive children doesn’t help. Did we sleep together? Did I like it?
I am delighted that you saw “Up” with your kids last weekend and enjoyed it. And sorry that your dog has lyme disease. And congratulations on being a fan of the “Raisins, Stay the Fuck Out of My Cookies Club.” Please know that I wish you all the best, and there is nothing you could have done differently.
Sincerely,

2) Someone inevitably asks you to perform a task like answer the question, “If You Were a Shoe, What kind Would You Be?”
You can do better than simply fill out the pre-existing app; you can have a brand new app of your own, at the ready! Here are some ideas to get you started:
“If you were an allergen what would you be?”
“If you were an infectious disease, what would you be?”
“If you were an amuse bouche, what would you be?”
“If you were a Gewürztraminer, what kind would you be?”
“If you were a punctuation mark, what kind would you be?”

3) Even though it’s heyday may have passed, you have to be prepared to receive the request to complete the “25 Things You Didn’t Know about Me” questionnaire. Why not get started, so you’re ready to push the Share button the moment the call comes? Don’t be intimidated by the thought of finding 25 things. Nobody said they all had to be fascinating. Feel free to pad away. Here are some ideas, free for the taking, in case you get stumped at number 19. Just pick a few, and disperse them throughout your real answers, and you’ll have your 25 in no time. Alternatively, you may simply start an app of your own, titled “25 Things You Could Care Less About Me,” and initiate the dialogue.
• I hate the smell of mulch
• I find it exciting that you can rejuvenate stale brown sugar by adding a slice of fresh bread and sealing it up for half a day
• I like to run outside when it is 58-62 degrees Fahrenheit
• I can’t decide if I like the puffy or the crunchy cheese doodles the best
• I miss my nose ring
• I used to wear thongs, but now find them uncomfortable, so am now back to bikinis
• I hate to juice lemons
• My blackberry is extremely old, and the little wheelie on the side isn’t working properly
• Very intellectual people make me nervous
• I ate too much cookie batter this morning
• I drink decaf
• I like cheese
• Especially brie
• I used to feel smarter than I do now
• Yoga makes me antsy
• I have a crush on Nicholas Cage
• Sometimes I add bouillon cubes to my homemade chicken stock, if it’s weak
• My middle toenail on my left foot is not all that stable
• I passed a guy jogging today who looked straight out of That 70s Show
• I am supposed to be doing something else.
• Flavored coffee is an abomination. Really, it’s in Leviticus, after the bit about men lying with other men
• I like iceberg lettuce. There – I said it.
• I pretend to know the difference between cheap sake and expensive sake.

Tree nuts:
-chocolate (especially European) and many candies
-egg rolls
-mortadella (pistachios)
-barbecue sauce
-macaroons
-veggie burgers
-tapenade
-always avoid the following words on a menu: Nutella, marzipan, pesto, baklava, romesco sauce, pralines, Frangelico, Amaretto, and Nocello (all nut liqueurs), nougat, turrón, gianduja
-bean bags and hackey sacs (often filled with crushed nut shells)
-Cuisines to be wary of: Indian, African, Mexican, Chinese, Greek

Peanuts:
-chili and sauces (peanut butter used as a thickener)
-ice cream
-granola
-health bars
-sauces
-chocolate
-fried foods (peanut oil is often used, which may or may not be safe)
-vegetable oil (may contain peanut oil in the blend)
-Cuisines to be wary of: Mexican, African, most Asian food, especially Thai, Indonesian, Malaysian, Vietnamese, and Chinese

Wheat/gluten:
-soy sauce
-ice cream (used as thickener)
-hot dogs and sausages
-surimi/imitation crabmeat (blend of different fish)
-licorice
-some baking powders
-sauces, casseroles, gravies
-pre-shredded cheese (prevents clumping)
-beer, bourbon, whiskey and wine
-the glue on the inside of an envelope flap
-hair care products (may contain wheat germ and hydrolyzed wheat products)
-some lipsticks
-Cuisines to be wary of: Really all, but French and Continental in particular

And, with experience, you do start to learn which foods or cuisines hold more risk than others. Upcoming, here is a look at the Big 8 – the eight most common allergen food groups (which make up 90% of allergies), and a sampling of the surprising places they often lurk.

Nothing new about the food-is-love concept. But, food made and given or received in a get-well capacity has a special level of love.

A friend was recently ill, and only craved watermelon and cucumbers with lemon dressing. This is the recipe. The rice wine vinegar still gives that light tangy clean flavor, but it’s less acidic and bitter than straight lemon juice, so the dressing has a nice softness to it.

¼ cup chopped shallots

¼ cup fresh lemon juice, strained (about two juicy lemons)

¼ cup rice wine vinegar (unseasoned)

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

1/2 cup olive oil

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Put it all into a plastic container with a lid, cover, shake, and it will last a week.

When it comes to leftovers, the world splits itself into three groups (to immediately digress, there are so many things in the world that divide people into groups, mostly two groups, aka hate or love contingencies: black licorice, roller coasters, sea urchin, Hilary Clinton). People usually either A) hate leftovers, and throw almost everything away ; B) love leftovers, are so happy and secure knowing there is some of last night’s meatloaf waiting in the fridge (further digression, there is actually a subset of the B group, the B.1 group who have a slightly depression era attachment to leftovers, really cannot bear to throw ANYTHING away, and have been known to wrap up things like 2 baby cooked carrots, or a bite of a chicken breast); and, C) people like me who look upon almost every single kind of leftover as a shimmering challenge, an exciting opportunity to make a brand new, equally-if-not-more-appealing dish. This concept may leave most of you shrugging, but for those of you in Group C – right? Leftover roast chicken is like the platonic ideal of this kind of springboard food, but that’s just the beginning. In fact, I am trying to remember when I have ever conceded defeat in trying to morph a dish into something new again.

An eternal leftover would be exaggeration – eventually a dish gets completely eaten. But in my kitchen, turning one dish into another dish, and then another, and sometimes (steady now) yet another is becoming a sort of lowbrow art form. I will never ever compete in the Olympics, unless there is a courageous and forward-thinking enough member of the IOC who decides to make Leftover Repurposing into an Olympic Sport. Then, I will be packing my bags for Beijing immediately.

I realize I am not the only person to do this – and I also realize it may make some people a little hesitant about coming over for dinner. I swear, I never repurpose ingredients or dishes that could are of questionable freshness, and I never do it for a dinner party or significant occasion. It’s just so much fun to take something good, and find a way to stretch and bend it into something else…good.

A lovely beef barley soup is my most recent achievement (do I sound like I’m bragging here? Sorry.) And this particular transmogrification was of the most satisfying level, because it involved not just ONE leftover meal, ladies and gentleman, not just TWO, but THREE, THREE I tell you! Not possible, you say? Oh, but it is! It was! There was a vegetable soup, a beef stew, and then some cooked white beans I had in the freezer. One more sautéed onion and a little garlic to start, everything went into the pot, and with the addition of some barley and chicken broth – a whole new soup, a whole new meal, enough to share with my neighbor.

It’s a complicated world out there, and when you find something that not only brings such emotional and practical satisfaction, you should grab it, and simmer away. The pot of soup is dwindling and thickening…but I have a box of ziti calling my name and the reduced soup may well have one more incarnation as a rich pasta sauce. Then I’ll call it quits. Tomorrow is another day, and there is a package of chicken in my fridge waiting to become a leftover.

So, while I am not a medical professional at all, I have eaten out in more than my fair share of restaurants, from high end to way low, and here are some additional tips:

9 Things To Do When You Eat Out and Have Allergies
1. Be clear and don’t rush: Communicate each of your allergies clearly, making eye contact with the waiter and even if you feel as though he is busy, take the time to make sure you’ve addressed all of your concerns.
2. Have a printed card with your allergic listed individually. You will still want to review the list of allergens with your waiter, but having them written down so there is less room for error is just smart. If you don’t have a pre-printed card, ask the waiter to write them down, or ask for a pen and paper and do it yourself.

3. Ask specific questions: knowing potential pitfalls and how the foods you are allergic to is very important. If you are allergic to eggs, and the waiter says you are ok to have the crab cakes, you might ask if there is mayonnaise in the dish, for example. Sometimes people will forget one of the allergens is hidden in un-obvious ways.

4. Ask if there are any questions: questions are a good way for you to gauge if you’ve been heard and understood. If you say you’re allergic to poppy seeds, for example, and the waiter asks if sesame is ok, you know he is on the ball.

5. If you don’t feel confident that your waiter is listening well enough, or understanding the severity of the allergy, ask to speak to the chef directly, or a manager or maitre d’.

6. Tell your server if you intend to share any dishes with others at your table – they will likely only check dishes that are specifically ordered by the person with allergies.

7. Have the conversation away from the table: let’s face it – it’s not always fun to run through your litany of allergies in a group setting, especially if you’re on an important business dinner or first date. In some cases you may want to order, excuse yourself to the restroom, then find your waiter or a manager and detail the allergies, and change your dishes if necessary.

8. Be a squeaky wheel. Even though it’s not pleasant to have to keep going at it, the alternative is a lot less pleasant.

9. If you’ve received great attentive service, pay a compliment. If things are going to continue to improve in the world of dining out with allergies, praise good servers and kitchen staff so that they feel appreciated for taking the time to be extra careful.

Additional things to think about:
1) Fancier restaurants are simultaneously more likely to have hidden ingredients in dishes, because of the complexity of the food, but are also more likely to have staff that are highly attentive to their customers’ needs, and knowledgeable about the components of the dishes.

2) If you are going to be traveling, or eating in an “ethnic” restaurant, taking the time to have your allergies written and translated is very smart and communicates a sense of weightiness.

3) Just because you’ve had a dish safely at a restaurant once doesn’t mean you don’t need to check each time you order it. Robert Pacenza, Executive Director of the Food Allergy Initiative, says that allergy awareness in restaurants has gotten better, but diners can’t get complacent. “Turnover in the restaurant industry is by nature very high, and as good as a restaurant is, on any given day you have to ask the questions. No matter how many times you’ve eaten a dish at an establishment, you should never feel comfortable.”

4) 8 Food Groups Make Up 90% of allergies: The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network says on their website (www.foodallergy.org) : FAAN says, “Although an individual could be allergic to any food, such as fruits, vegetables, and meats, there are eight foods that account for 90% of all food-allergic reactions. These are: milk, egg, peanut, tree nut (walnut, cashew, etc.), fish, shellfish, soy and wheat.”

I will say that the allergy subject is a much more earnest one than most…hard to be funny on the topic, and still expect everyone to take you seriously. But everything else is fair game…